Now if there’s one thing your average spong-monkey desires, even more than bananas pre-chewed by their special minder, it’s power. Being entirely without friends or influence in the outside world, the Chief High Overlords of the Servers drafted The Rules, to ensure fair play between their subjects with the bare minimum of mediation required by admins, to allow players to be essentially self managing and solve their disputes with friendly discussion.

No, wait, wrong document.

The wireplay rules are written purely to provide each admin with the greatest number of opportunities to interfere with another person’s enjoyment of the game. Self gratification is so beloved of these simple creatures that were it not for their atrophied forearms, wasted away from years of sloth, they wouldn’t even be able to see the server, let alone run the league, for a cloud of watery jizz and spent tissues. Actually perhaps that explains a lot…

As it is, nothing gives these simple-minded cretins more enjoyment that to hold the fate of smarter, more succesful beings in their hands. And so their rules are peppered with delightful interjections such as:

“(admin discretion)”
“…during games to abuse the opposition or any admin is not permitted”
“In very extenuating circumstances an admin may allow a player to play”
“…unless agreed to by both clan leaders and an admin”
“…you must tell an admin…”
“An admin must agree this.”
“…admins will decide…”
“…only with admin consent…”

All told, the word “admin” appears in some form thirty seven times in the wireplay rules document.

Of course, it wouldn’t do for the admins to be constrained by the same rules as lesser mortals. Indeed, what would happen if an admin’s favorite lackey were to fall foul of the rules? Surely an admin cannot be expected to penalise his own Chosen? And so, right at the bottom of the rules:

We reserve the right to change any rules at any time without notice
Admins decision is always final. Sometimes situations will crop up that are not covered in the league rules, at these times the admins will decide on what action to take.
We do our best to run a fair and fun league, if you have any problems or questions please do not hesitate to go bugger yourselves*

*may not be 100% accurate, based on third party reporting

Some of the wireplay admins are bound to be good, decent people, if only by chance. But the main core of wireplay admins, and indeed the bulk of the lesser admins, would all be willing to pay hard cash to have two layers of ribcage removed in order to suck their own dicks were it not for the fact that they’re too poor to afford it and you’d need to remove a whole lot more than a few ribs to be able to reach something that small.

I’d like to point out also that this isn’t just the rage of one match, this is the pent-up vitriol of a couple of years of suffering the capricious whims of wireplay admins, under a variety of clans. Thank you for listening.

Looking for:
-Possible Match Experience
-Can airshot
-Can be the offensive soldier
-Good comms
-Non raging
-Not a baby

Hit me back on the forums (link above)
or add me on steam: excessiveevil

MC R@ndom K has been writing lyrics since the age of 11. developing a love for Hip Hip, through listening to Snoop Dogg and the Fugees as a kid. This turned into a childhood search for all the Hip Hop originators and Hip Hops complete fundamentals.After being introduced to the rave seen at the age of 17, he soon found a group of friends that shared the same passion to their new love for the “drum ‘n’ bass scene”. One of those friends was Dj Drumattick, who started to mix DNB as opposed to his normal garage styles. Random K and Drumattick would practice every weekend,mostly RK would freestyle lyrics, untill the realisation of needing pre-rehearsed bars. So in 2004 he started to write and memorise lyrics upon lyrics to attempt to improve his style. After some poor recognition, MC Random K, DJ Drumattick and some other friends, started up a cru called Frequentease. Running nights in his local town, they became successful and started to attract local attention on the south coast. All the time MCRK would be writing and finalising lyrics. Now based in Bournemouth town, RK has played with a few of the greats and not so greats. With monthly slots on net radio stations,(www.krisisdnb.com,www.ukbassradio.co.uk,www.subbassfm.com and www.quantumrecordings.co.uk), R@ndom K is pushing his brand for 2009. RK is currently seeing support from G-rats Rolling Rave/1manor nights, DJ Salmon’s Liquid Sex nights, DJ MX/Neo’s KrisisDNB nights (Southampton), Dose and Base’s Iskank nights (Bournemouth). MC R@ndom K has spread his hard hitting Randomised style all across the UK and the world. From Bristol to South End and Vang Vieng(Lao) to Melbourne (Australia). MCRK is set to take the UK by storm this year, so keep your ears peeled and ya eyes wide. MC’D WITH AND ALONGSIDE; DJ’S; DRUMSOUND, BASSLINESMITH, CHRISSY CHRIS, G DUB, JUNGLE DRUMMER, TWISTED INDIVIDUAL, HIGH ROLLER, BRIAN G, ALTER EGO (Twin Audio), SDM, KLIP TRIPLE M, KARN EVIL, DEEP, JUDDA, BASE, DOSE, D-TOX, DANGEROUS, CHARGE, MX, NEO, G-RAT, SMALL PAUL, SHORTSTUFF, DISMISS, MOS, PABLO RIDDLER JD, DANNY BASS AND GRAZEY MC’S; SKIBBADEE, HERBZIE, TONN PIPER, RHYMES, DET, SPOOKA, RICOCHET BANTON CREEPA DAPA D FIREKID, BENSTA, UNKNOWN, ICY L, SPITFIRE, FELON, MELODY,DOUBLE L & SKYDRO. BOOKINGS DROP ME A MESSAGE. OR TEXT LINE +44 (0) 7969638240 MCRK